Accountability

I have the fortunate experience Tuesday evenings of sharing my emotions, struggles and successes with a support group for male survivors of sexual abuse. I am the co-facilitator and have benefitted immensely from the experience over the past year. In fact, I wrote an article for the CCAA ezine that explains why I feel that group saved my life. >Page 10

The opportunity to share openly and expose my vulnerabilities with a great group of men without fear of rejection, judgment or lack of understanding has become a necessary part of my life. I can talk about my life and be understood. I can talk about my struggles and have them mirrored back to me in other men’s lives. I can listen to other men and provide encouragement and hope.

But I’ve come to learn that although letting everyone talk and share their experiences has been incredibly helpful to us, I believe that accountability needs to be more a part of the picture. And to those of you reading who don’t have a men’s support group with which you could participate, accountability is still possible to ensure you push forward and grow.

What do I mean by ‘accountability’? Stating changes you’d like to make in your life to others so that they hold you accountable for making sure those changes happen. In group, some of our best growing experiences have been when our wishes and/or plans have been made public to the members who then check in a few weeks or months down the road to see how we're doing with our goals or stated plans for change. Time and again you can read about studies that have shown resolutions stick better when known by others in our lives. 

My personal experience involves being more successful at change and growth when others close to me know that I'm aiming for it. Their little reminders, check-ins and words of encouragement have helped me move farther, step by step in this journey. So, I also encourage you to find even one person in your life with whom you can share your goals and plans for recovery in order to provide you with accountability. I have to tell you that once you start moving forward, you never want to go backward again. The taste of freedom and a better life stays with you. 

Cheers, 

Jamie