Monday, October 24, 2011

The Podcast is up and ready!!

Well, I have to admit it brought tears to my eyes: completing the first 2 episodes of the Men Healing Podcast and then playing them back to listen to how they turned out. It really feels like the beginning of an exciting journey and I can't wait to see what it brings!

It's taken a lot of learning to get this far just with the technology I've had to use, so submitting this podcast to iTunes will happen shortly. For now, please enjoy the first two episodes available at the link posted below, and please share them with others! Thanks for your support! Jamie

http://menhealing.libsyn.com/webpage

Resources mentioned:
http://1in6.org/
http://malesurvivor.org/
Courage to Heal workbook

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Accountability


I have the fortunate experience Tuesday evenings of sharing my emotions, struggles and successes with a support group for male survivors of sexual abuse. I am the co-facilitator and have benefitted immensely from the experience over the past year. In fact, I wrote an article for the CCAA ezine that explains why I feel that group saved my life. >Page 10

The opportunity to share openly and expose my vulnerabilities with a great group of men without fear of rejection, judgment or lack of understanding has become a necessary part of my life. I can talk about my life and be understood. I can talk about my struggles and have them mirrored back to me in other men’s lives. I can listen to other men and provide encouragement and hope.

But I’ve come to learn that although letting everyone talk and share their experiences has been incredibly helpful to us, I believe that accountability needs to be more a part of the picture. And to those of you reading who don’t have a men’s support group with which you could participate, accountability is still possible to ensure you push forward and grow.

What do I mean by ‘accountability’? Stating changes you’d like to make in your life to others so that they hold you accountable for making sure those changes happen. In group, some of our best growing experiences have been when our wishes and/or plans have been made public to the members who then check in a few weeks or months down the road to see how we're doing with our goals or stated plans for change. Time and again you can read about studies that have shown resolutions stick better when known by others in our lives. 

My personal experience involves being more successful at change and growth when others close to me know that I'm aiming for it. Their little reminders, check-ins and words of encouragement have helped me move farther, step by step in this journey. So, I also encourage you to find even one person in your life with whom you can share your goals and plans for recovery in order to provide you with accountability. I have to tell you that once you start moving forward, you never want to go backward again. The taste of freedom and a better life stays with you. 

Cheers, 
Jamie

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Before delving in any further, I thought I’d write a quick post regarding how I’ve grown since starting my healing journey just over a year ago. Rather than go into all the changes in my life over the past while – which are many – I want to share with you the resources and people that have helped me grow and heal.

First off, I have to include here the wonderful workbook that I included as a regular part of my routine: the Courage to Heal Workbook. This book has helped me gain clarity, has challenged me to go forward, and has made me much more self-aware. Through the exercises in it, I have learned and grown significantly and have this book to thank for being part of what's helped me get where I am today.

Secondly, I recommend the Feeling Good Handbook. Once into the healing journey, many men experience an increase in emotional instability alongside the new perspectives and discoveries made. I was no exception. The deeper I dove, the more difficult the effort to continue forward and face my demons. Of course, this process has been totally worthwhile, but I did ask my therapist to suggest a book I could use to learn how to better control my emotions, instead of having them constantly control me. This handbook by Dr. Burns has been so practical, helpful and necessary to my growth and positive changes.

A crucial part of my healing and growth has been my support group. Every Tuesday evening I meet with a group of male sexual abuse survivors to share, support and encourage one another. It has been a significant part of my journey and I am so grateful and glad that I have these other men to share with who understand me and support me. I’ve written an article (page 10) about how valuable I feel the group has been to my life.

And finally, my support team has helped me become a better person than i was even 2 years ago. Along with my amazing partner, I requested support from a small group of friends and family in case I needed them during difficult times in the healing journey. They have been great in terms of just being there when needed, listening to my struggles and encouraging me to move ahead and grasp more of my potential. I strongly encourage you to find a support team for yourself in order to have people available in times of crisis, sadness or celebration.

As I continue down this new path of blogging and podcasting, my hope is to share more stories, experiences and ideas that will help you be better equipped and ready for the journey of healing ahead of you. Through my words and those of other survivors, I wish to help you make even small steps forward into a more rewarding, fulfilling and joy-filled life.

Cheers brother,
Jamie